am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
