I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
