I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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