Me. At least after what I've been through.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
