His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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