its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
