dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
