I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
