I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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