how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize