some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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