were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
