Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
