I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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