are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
