so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
