You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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