Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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