Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
