I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Your dad touched me again.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize