I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My pussy is not your playground.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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