Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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