Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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