just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
