you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
