Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
