My cat gives me a boner
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
