Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
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I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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