She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I cockslap morals
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A bitchslap is in order.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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