Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
