So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
