The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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