I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
