i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
