I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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