People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
