defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
