you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
