Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he thought i was a dude.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
