Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
