Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
