how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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