You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
