You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
