You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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