"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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