She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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