I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
