Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
