i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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