Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
