I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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