I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's never too late to be topless.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
