Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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