Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize