i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
