oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize