it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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